When I was 19, I told myself I was going to become a forensic scientist. I was going to party hard and work hard, turns out I just partied hard. I think I partied because I didn’t believe in myself, so instead of applying myself, I just created a scape goat so I could let myself fail. My parents really did a number on me and I don’t blame them, they did the best they knew how.
My mom was/is a control freak. I appreciate everything her and my dad did for me, because I never went without food or a roof over my head but I lacked learning how to make my own decisions. My mom wanted so much to be in control that she would pick out my clothes for me and if I asked to wear what I wanted to wear she would guilt trip me in to wearing an outfit she picked out. If I wanted to explore things, my parents would tell me I couldn’t do that or they wouldn’t support me.
My parents needed to be in control so much that they took me out of school and homeschooled me. I think I still am a little resentful of that. I never got the football games with my friends, I never got homecoming or prom, I never really got to do anything that a teenager should be able to do because of my parents control issues. Honestly, I know they thought in their head they were doing what was best for me, but looking back (hindsight is always 20/20) it affected me like I didn’t think it would. Anyway, I tell you this because sometimes I have a hard time believing in myself and I second guess myself because early on I was never able to make those decisions.
I am slowly starting to learn to choose my decisions, my actions and I love it. I blamed my parents for so long and sometimes I get back in to that trap, but now I am a grown ass woman, I make my own decisions and I choose how I react to others. Take 10 minutes (when you have time) to watch this video, you will not be sorry, I guarantee it.
Are you ready to start working on your plan A?